Father’s Day in the Snoqualmie Valley, a Contest: The Fountain of All Wisdom

Living Snoqualmie’s last contest, “How I Met my Other,” was SO fun, I decided to do it again. I considered a Mother’s Day contest, but I feel like that holiday gets plenty of attention and sometimes Dad’s get left out of the fun, although perhaps they WANT it that way?

Well too bad Dads, this one is all about you!

One of the things Dads are known for is their advice. Sometimes it’s silly, sometimes practical, often ignored but always given with the best intentions. I want to hear the best, worst or the silliest advice you ever got from your Father.

The “Fountain of all Wisdom” moniker was not for my Dad but rather the nickname my Mother and her siblings came up for their Dad. It seems he was known for frequently pontificating to his children about the knowledge he had picked up in life.

My late Dad, Bill, was not that kind of guy. He was quieter, less grandiose in his opinions and far less likely to give advice daily. Talking with my sister Laurie we realized he gave advice, mostly practical things with a sprinkling of basic life truisms and a couple of old-timey goofy ones.

His first main category, like any good Dad with daughters, was cars. Under the category of practical advice, I remember a few things he taught me when I was learning to drive a car. Learning to drive in our family was mostly a dad and daughter experience. My sister and mom gave it a shot once but ended up crashing into a row of mailboxes, and so the teaching task was given to calmer Dad. (My sister would like you to know the mailbox debacle was Mom’s fault.)

We learned first on my Grandmother’s ’67 Nova since it was an automatic. She lived near Seward Park, so he’d drive the Nova to the park, hand us the keys and try to teach us to steer. Until a couple of days ago, my sister and I had never talked about these lessons, but when we did, we learned we both oversteered a hairpin turn and drove through the landscaping, eventually landing on the road. I still remember looking around in a panic to see if anyone was watching when Dad calmly said, “keep going; no one noticed.” I’m not sure it was meant to be advice, but I remember it when I get embarrassed or feel like I’m going something poorly.

I never change lanes in front of a semi until I can see both headlights because of Dad and staunchly refuse to honk unless it’s an emergency. He despised being honked at for no reason. My sister remembers our Dad saying, “You aren’t done with a car until it’s held together with duct tape,” and under the category of out-of-date advice, we have, “Never buy a car made by the French or Italians.” Even more politically incorrect is advice Mark remembers from his dad, “Never inspect women or cars by candlelight.”

Oh boy.

Money was another topic of his fatherly advice. The one piece of advice my sister and I have followed most stringently is, “Never tell your mother about your finances.” I think his reasoning was he knew if we had too little or more than enough, it would stress her out to hear about it so, it was best not to discuss it. My mother adored my father, but I think this one still ticks her off quite a bit.

“When in doubt, give the government the money” was one I don’t recall hearing, but my sister does. It was regarding income taxes and sounded just like my pragmatic dad.

Then came the practical, no category life advice. Stuff like:

• It’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission.
• It’s never wrong to say you’re sorry.
• Stick up for yourself; no one else will.
• If you don’t like to cook, don’t complain about the food.

My Grandfather apparently had a similar piece of wisdom, “Whatever Mother cooks is good.” Words to live by.

So why enter this contest? Because this time we have THREE prizes!

For our third-place winner, we have a $50 gift card for the North Bend Theatre. Located at 125 Bendigo Blvd N. in North Bend, the Burrows family are the owners of this beautiful historic landmark. Their mission is to care for and thoughtfully improve the building and offer various entertaining events. Hence, future generations continue to create fond memories and love their local hometown movie theatre. The gift card can be used for movies, treats or can be applied to a private rental.

Next, for our second-place winner, we have a 100 dollar gift certificate for The Well & Table, a restaurant opening soon owned by North Bend locals Jaynie Stuth-Wetherbee and Jason Stellman. Located at 317 NW Gilman Blvd. Ste. 43 in Issaquah’s Gilman Village, the Well & Table is a farm-to-table restaurant and bar with a seasonal menu focusing on fresh, locally sourced ingredients, craft cocktails, and a variety of Washington wines and ales.

Lastly, we have TWO thrill rides valued at $250 each from Dirtfish Rally School for the grand prize. Located at 7001 396th Dr. SE in Snoqualmie, DirtFish teaches car control, confidence, and safety behind the wheel, through advanced driving techniques built from the roots of rally. From fifteen years of age with a learner’s permit, all the way up to the sophisticated age of 85, they teach everyone!

1. The contest is open to Living Snoqualmie readers.
2. Work published previously in any copyrighted newspaper, magazine, book, or another medium is ineligible. Entries must be original.
3. Contestants may enter one story of up to 600 words.
4. Entries should be entered by email at info@livingsnoqualmie.com no later than 5:00 p.m., Friday, June 11th, 2021. Only entries in digital format will be accepted.
5. No submissions will be returned.
6. Three judges selected by Living Snoqualmie will choose five semi-finalists. Their peers will judge the finalists on the Living Snoqualmie Facebook Page from June 13-18 until 10 pm. Judging and winner notification will be completed no later than June 19th, followed by an announcement in Living Snoqualmie.
7. The author retains the copyright to the submitted work and agrees to publication in Living Snoqualmie and its social media platforms. Semi-finalists and finalists will be asked to provide a photo to appear with their entries.
8. The decisions of the judges are final. Submission indicates acceptance of all contest rules.
9. Winners must be available to pick up their prize from our sponsor’s business establishments if necessary.
10. Sponsors may have restrictions on when and how their gift certificates may be used.